I'm back, after many months of silence. I had hoped to update much much sooner but due to life issues I have had to put lots of things on hiatus for a period of time until things were resolved.

Hm, where to start. The last 6 months have rushed by so quickly, yet a lot has happened in that time. The biggest (and easily the most important) thing to happen to me is the status of my relationship. Or rather, the finish of it. For its last couple of months my/our relationship was becoming less and less stable, until at last we decided to go our separate ways, and to finish the 3-and-a-half year relationship. Gone. Everything. Just like that in a couple of words.

That happened just over a month ago, although it seems a lot longer than that...and to be honest, I think the end of the relationship and the events that have happened following that were the best things to happen to me in a long time. I feel like a completely different person now, and for the better too. I'm not entirely sure how this has happened, but the cause has probably been a lot of different events and people. My counselor (which I just so happened to start seeing just before my relationship broke down) and my friends have been an incredible support to me, but it has been me that has been the most supportive. Never before have I felt so confident in myself before, never before have I felt so truly and utterly FREE. Of everything.

Despite the furious rage I had felt in the first week of being "abandoned" (which is exactly how I felt), the aloof-ness, the loneliness I have felt there is without a doubt I am the one to have come out so much stronger; my ex is still recovering and feeling somewhat insecure of things while I am more focused than ever before, firmly looking forward and only looking back to make sure I learn from the mistakes of the past.

I am fully aware of the ups and downs though. I know I'm still "grieving", and as with any loss, the only healer is time. I'm so glad my friends are with me though; they've all noticed a significant change in me and seem genuinely happy at the new "me". I know its going to take some time for my wounds to truly heal, especially after such a long relationship. 3 years is a long time and I'm going to have to be patient to fully get accustomed to being single again.

Right now things are going extremely well; I'm starting to become motivated with my coursework again (which I dearly need to catch up on), I'm confident and I no longer hide my feelings - something I haven't been able to do for so many years. Me and my ex are getting along very well too; we talk often just like old friends. No matter what has happened I still consider him my best friend, and I know he feels the same about me.

I have also learned to cry again. For almost a month I didn't cry once, but I finally let out my sorrows in tears. It is said that tears cleanse and wash away the pain, and I believe crying is an essential part of the grieving process. With time and my gift of patience, I know all wounds will heal.